Poem: And Now My Boobs Are Huge
File under "Things That Weren't In The Brochure": I got old, and now my boobs are huge.
And Now My Boobs Are Huge
I got old and now my boobs are H U G E My A is now a D and the letters don’t retreat I bought a new bra and now my boobs are H U G E R So rounded and regal they distract from the fact That my tummy is wobblier and also it’s W I D E R Because now that I’m old and my tits are fabulous why care about the rest?
Why does this exist? (a stuffy artist statement)
I bought a new dress last month for an all-day event (my son’s wedding). Though gorgeous, it was a one-shoulder dress, and the hunt for appropriate brassiereage began. After approximately seven hundred and fifty thousand Amazon purchases and returns, I finally found a good one.
By that time I had spent so much time whining about the boob/bra struggle to my sister-in-law that she bought me a mug for my birthday that was covered in line-drawn boobs in every shape. The caption said “You’re perfect.”
Two weeks later this silly poem bubbled up. When I told my Mom I had written a poem about boobs, I received the typical Mom Look Of Horror. Then I read it to her and she just laughed away.
Aging is weird.
Looking for more poetry like this (and, really, why wouldn’t you be)? You might check this one out, too: I’m Learning to Love My Face.
And now, an Irish blessing because I like those (one of my favorites today):
May those who love us love us.
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping.
I post The Sooth episodes on Wednesday mornings and other stuff on Friday mornings
I may also post at other times, but for sure on those days (I shoot for 6:00am PST delivery so we can sip coffee together and celebrate another week done but don’t always quite make that). See you then!
About Rachel
Working on a scifi book series about a girl who just wants to heal her father from his terminal illness but inadvertently sparks an intergalactic incident instead. Check it out here:
